Weight Watcher's Woes
by pokerplayer578
Summary: funny story wrote when sleep deprived. Ooh i want reviewers so read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh not my fault that it kinda well lack of better terms sucks.

It is a delightful day and Yugiis talking to Joey after their very delightful adventure with Pegasus and the heart of the cards and all that junk. See well at the last second Serenity got her eyesight back ( not the truth so shut ur mouth) and they spent all of the remaining money on yes doughnuts.

" Now listen Tea, no offense or nothing but do you happen to know that u gained a few pounds." Said Yugi fearing for his life.

" Shut your god mouth Yugi leave me alone. God now I need comfort food. Joey for gods sakes leave me alone. If you touch my butt one more time I will bite of your hand." Yelled Tea.

" It was a mercy flirt god leave me alone."  
After that Yugi's Grandpa entered the room and said with lack of better terms.

" Get the hell out of my house fatties. I took the rest of your prize money and got you all into a weight watchers class." Said Yugi's Grandpa.

" Oh god. I think I just ate my deck." Said Yugi fearing for his life.

" Now don't you worry Yug, it will have to come out and if it doesn't that is what a proctologist is for." Joey exclaimed.

" I saw one of them in Cuba. They had a camera and a webcam and then after a gynecologist came in. It was all for free god bless Cuba." Said Tea \

Note in the next few lines there will be some very brief cameos. I do not own South Park and I do not own Sesame Street.

" Yugi now throw out all of these doughnut boxes." Yelled Yugi's Grandpa.

" Fine you piece of crap have any condum wrappers in your room. Any tampons perhaps?" said Yugi.

Now as Yugi walked out of his house he noticed that there was someone standing there on the corner.

" Hey weren't you on Sesame Street?" asked Yugi seeing a huge yellow bird. " No wait wasn't that the special on the news about Colfax. ( Guys I am very sorry but well inside joke that only we coloradans would understand sorry once again)

" Listen kid. Im into whatever but you gotta pay to play get me?" Said big bird.

" Big Bird. Or was it Big Rhonda? I am sorry but I am not into that stuff really seriously sorry bout that."

What shall happen next. Yes this fic sucks but well it is 2 oclock in morning and me very very sleep deprived.


	2. uh oh

Chapter 2 yes I got almost no sleep so I decided why not see what else I can write. As you already know they were on their way to weight watchers.

" Your standing on the edge of nowhere, there's only one way out, but your hearts gotta go there………."

" Yug, now why the hell did we go to a place where they play this shit." Asked Joey inquiringly.

" Oh. I love that hottie. Super hottie hottie at info desk." Said Yugi. Continuing to sing the hottie song which goes a little something like, " Hottie hottie, could she be any hotter, hottie hottie, ooooooooooooooooooooooh take picture with camera phone enlarge and photo shop. Yeah."

" Hey Yugi Moto. My grandpa signed me up." Said Yugi.

" Oh yes your weight watchers consultant will be Tris." Said Becky.

" Now she sounds hot." Yugi thought to himself with a smile. Yeah ready for the hottie song.

" Yugi is that you?" said Tristan who had just come over to see who is next client was.

" Holy shit. Your that hot consultant!" exclaimed Yugi.

" Now Yugi I like u but not in that way. I'm sorry but I don't play for that team I am so sorry." Tristan.

" Do you know what Tristan? You can shove it k. You know what I meant. " Yu-Gi-OH"

" I am officially Yami who is only slightly better than yugi and only slightly taller but yet I am amazing. Bow down to me. You glorify my name." K guys no is random time. Me so bored.

" Hey Tea I will be your consultant." Said Jessalyn.

" Oh fun yeah now we can be best friends. Friends Friends I love friends." Said Tea.

" Tea did you ever figure out exactly why u talk bout friendship so much?" asked Joey.

" Hey I am Jenny I shall be your assistant. Ahuh. Ooooh I love you Joey. See heres this picture of you in the shower." Said the stalkerish Jenny.

" Like okay uhum. Just wait one minute Tea I just saw someone I know." Yelled Jessalyn.

" Yeah can he be my friend," said Tea.

" Yeah yeah sure oh damn look at that ass. Damn baby want some fries to go with that shake." Said Jessalyn looking at the backside of everyones archenemy.

" Hey Jessalyn. Come with me really quick." Said Kaiba motioning towards a door.

After a few minutes Tea had become restless and then opened the door.

" Friends! Friends?" said Tea as she saw Jessalyn and Kaiba eating a canoli.

" OMG. I thought that this was a friendship with trust." Said Tea." " Was it worth the fucking god damn canola. Damn how am I supposed to keep my diet if my best friend refuses too."

" God damn psycho bitch. I met you 2 days ago" said Jessalyn.

" I love you Joey. Man I want a flaming swordsman so bad." Said Jenny.


	3. Yay For Kaiba

This is the third chapter.

" How dare you forget our delightful friendship you mean the most to me then anyone else ever."

" Joey. Joey. You come here okay." Said Jenny mimicking what Kaiba had just done. " C'mon Joey. I just learned this new trick."

" Did anybody catch what that means?" said a very confused Joey.

" God damn. Jessalyn come here I wanna see something." Said Tristan seeming to check out Jessalyn.

" But I'm a one guy girl." Said Jessalyn, " But maybe you guys can duel for me."

Then as they started said the mysteriously known " Lets Duel" phrase and they started. As they began their duel the horny Jessalyn ran around looking at their backsides and making inappropriate comments such as, " Tight ass, and get the damn cape out of the way." Soon after the duel began Tristan saw he was outmatched he then said that he would not treat Jessalyn as a trophy and then gave up to show is his love for her. Although it was secretly because of his fear of losing to Kaiba. As soon as Tristan showed his new found love for Jessalyn she dumped and him and started making out with Kaiba.

" Pay some attention to me guys. God damn getting a little PG aren't we." Yelled Yugi.

" Now guys I am the last one to want to go on a diet or anything but didn't we come here to lose all of these pounds." Said Joey seeing all of his money slowly dwindle to nothing.

" Now hey guys how ya doing?" asked the newfound Bakura in a French accent.

" Maybe if you stopped eating all of those god damn croissants you wouldn't be here huh?" pushily asked the pissed off Tristan.

Just then Tristan pulled out what appeared to be a doobie and lit the end. Kaiba soon saw what his competition's weakness was and then devised his plan to murder Tristan in order to have Jessalyn all to himself but then found that that wasn't smart because well he didn't have to cause he was rich. Will they ever realize that they should probably start their workouts? Will they ever the lose all those pounds? Yes they start their workouts and then after that decide to kill Tristan.

You thought I was ending the chapter didn't you. Well guess what sucker I aint so hahahahahahahahaha yippe skippie.

Soon after all of the drama was over they all decided that they could get lipo. This was all paid for by Kaiba who was persuaded by Jessalyn due to her need for lipo because of eating a single canoli.


	4. YAY FOR LIPO

Chapter 4 Super Lipo Fun Time

" Oooh watch it jiggle, my butt, my butt, HAHAHA giggle." Happily said Tea high off of morphine and ready to get her fat sucked from her body.

" Jigglin' and wigglin's free," said Yugi one again high off of morphine going into surgery.

Tristan was the first up for surgery and decided that he would go the old fashioned way. He would smoke a couple of doobies and then after that see where it lead him. After burning for about an hour he went under the vaccum and just as they were closing up Tristan took the scalpel and said, " They cancelled MASH man." And with that took his own life.

" Yay." Said Kaiba who was overlooking the surgeries. Soon after the suicide of Tristan everyone came out healthy and happy only until they heard the news.

" I'm sorry you all but Tristan died under the knife," mournfully said Kaiba not revealing his true feelings.

" Who the hell cares. I'm not fat anymore. God I hate those fucking fatties." Said Yugi with a look of contempt.

" God why do u have to be so hurtful." Said Bakura rushing by to go throw up the carrot he had just had.

" Well You all I am so happy we can all be Friends."

Said Tea and with that their weight watchers adventure had ended. But maybe not look back for updates.


End file.
